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SlapDash: Five tips to increase the chances that you *will* miss your flight
Enjoy this tried-and-true, missed-flight journey … from wherever you are, to the gate
There are so many different way to miss your flight this busy spring-summer travel season. Our SlapDash travel expert offers up just a few of them (Eagle County Regional Airport photo).
SlapDash by Jill Alfond
I can claim these among my finest traveling accomplishments: Missing two flights in one day (for a work trip!) and missing both the departing and return flights on another trip. Sad, but true!
Because of my clear knowledge and expertise on this topic, we’ve pulled together the below SlapDash-approved tips:
- Rule No. 1: Wherever you are, have “one more drink” before departing for the airport. There’s always time! Why hurry up to wait in the airport when you’re having fun now. Whether you’re just pre-partying at home or actually at a party or get-together, getting a little buzz on will properly cloud your judgment in terms of time management/planning.
- We also recommend procrastinating your packing until the last moment, preferably after you’re well into your “packing drink.” This will ensure you’re as late as possible due to doubling back to collect important items that you definitely forgot. Like your charger, your sunglasses, or your roadie.
- En route to the airport, by all means do not bother checking on the exact terminal. You either just know, or it will be totally obvious upon arrival.
- Planes will 100% let you onboard right up to the moment they depart, so again, why get to the gate early and waste minutes of your life standing miserably on a jetbridge? You can and should be eating nachos at your friendly airport restaurant.
- Speaking of: After going through security, head straight to the very first bar or restaurant you come across. No need to be near your gate. How far can it be anyway, amiright? Remain here, with a beverage, until you hear your name called on the loudspeaker.
About Us
SlapDash is the brainchild of longtime friends Jill Alfond and Nicole Kaldes who, by the numbers, have a combined 40 years of writing experience, 100(ish) missed flights each, have spent thousands of dollars in change fees and have encountered too many characters/experiences to count.
SlapDash isn’t your average travel site, which is exactly why we started it — because travel writing has become, well, a bit too serious. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” but here at SlapDash we find travel a bit more entertaining because, let’s face it, nothing ever goes as expected. If you’re like us and not 100% perfect, SlapDash is for you. Think of us as goop for imperfect humans, where you’ll find discoveries, actually helpful, insider tips, city guides, shopping recommendations, funny sh*t, characters we’ve met and real — but really irreverent — travel stories to hopefully inspire your next trip.
We’ve been hilariously botching travel since high school. Learn from our mistakes.
Feedback? Burning questions? Want us to go somewhere and eff it up so you can learn from us?
Say hello at SlapDashMe[at]gmail.com.
Jill Alfond
